Do you recall how challenging it could be as a child to learn the concept of sharing with your siblings? Despite the fact that the importance of thinking about others’ feelings, and of being fair, was impressed upon us early on, it can still be a difficult task to reduce sibling squabbles about difficult choices we face in adulthood – such as the best way to fairly divide care obligations for our aging parents.
Gregory French, president-elect of the National Academy of Elder Law Attorneys, mentions, “What a family member considers ‘fair’ is very much dictated from that family member’s perspective…there’s a lot of family baggage that comes out, like: ‘Mom paid for your MBA, and she didn’t do that for me.’”
These recommendations can help individuals and their families reach an agreement on the most fair division of care for a senior loved one:
- Recruit the assistance of a mediator. Sitting down with the help of a respected third party professional, like an attorney or financial planner with a specialty in elder issues, can go a long way towards attempting to keep the dialogue on course and advancing to the most useful resolution.
- Take into account hands-on caregiver help vs. expenses. Dividing up care fairly should include a dialogue on how much time each sibling can devote to supplying caregiving in the home, and how much financial care can be provided. For instance, a sibling living in close proximity to the loved one may contribute more time but lower financial help versus someone who resides in another state.
- Record the conversation. Putting everything in writing makes sure that everybody is on the same page, and allows for the opportunity to go back and evaluate what was agreed upon later if a dispute should occur.
Above all, agree to set aside any lingering childhood dynamics in order to come together to supply the highest quality of care and attention possible.
Heaven at Home Senior Care of Denton, TX helps family members keep a healthy life balance with the professional in-home care services for the elderly that provide families with ease of mind in realizing their loved one is in the best of hands. Working with Heaven at Home Senior Care also means that families can spend greater quality time together, while our fully trained and knowledgeable care providers help with some of the more routine elements of care, such as cleaning, washing, meal preparation, running errands including grocery shopping and picking up prescriptions, and much more. Call us at 866-381-0500 or contact us online for details.